Did you know it is a FACT (well it's definitely a Gillism) that cycling in the wind and rain makes you 50% more badass!!! Confession time!!!!! I have fallen off the wagon (or should that be bike?). I haven't been cycling as much as I should have; I started the Couch 2 5K run programme - and then stopped; and I have gained a little bit of weight. Now I need to figure out why I've neglected not only my training but also my self-care. It's not because I have fallen out of love with cycling or running - I love it! I am actually missing having healthy, nutritious food and my mood is certainly worse when I eat rubbish. So why have I done it?????? Why am I sabotaging my own efforts???? To what end am I neglecting to take care of myself????
I was swimming up and down the pool last week and asking myself why I hadn't got up early that morning to go cycling or running. Of course I had plenty of "reasons" which all seemed perfectly valid at 6am when my alarm woke me up: What if there was a sudden gust of wind and I got blown off my bike into the path of truck?! What if I couldn't make it up that big hill to the car park at the reservoir? What if I went for a run and people died from the shock of seeing my ungainly body pounding the pavements? Or worse what if they saw me and laughed?! I know, of course, that these are all ridiculous scenarios that are highly unlikely to happen and even if they did (with the exception of the truck scenario) would it really matter all that much? Why do I come up with these silly scenarios anyway?!! It would make much more sense to concentrate on the fantastic feeling of the wind on my face while cycling or the sense of achievement at having completed another day of the Couch 2 5K. Or to remind myself that I have more challenges to complete in 3 months time and think about the reasons I am doing this in the first place. I remembered that when I was going through a particularly tough time a few years ago my daughter Meghan said to me "Mum, you have to stop standing in your own way". At the time I didn't really take the time to think about what she meant by it, but last week in the pool it came back to me like a light bulb moment (which clearly indicates that my daughter is much more perceptive than her mother!) and I realised that that is exactly what I have been doing! I have been standing in my own way and I have been doing it for far too long! So the next morning I got up at 6am; I moved out of my own way; I got on my bike and I went out for a ride before work and I survived it!! Nothing terrible happened! Today I did it again; and I rode further and it WAS windy and I survived again! I have since been imaging what my life could be like if I could continue to stop standing in my own way. If every time I want to cycle or run or swim or go to the gym I simply go and do it!! Of course I am well aware that the reality is that I will likely wake up one morning next week and I will refuse point blank to get out of my own way. I will stubbornly stand there with my arms folded, feet firmly planted and refuse to move. I believe the best chance I have of keeping myself out of my own way is if I can understand why I do it and have some strategies to move myself out of the way when necessary. So, to that end, I am embarking on a series of Life Coaching sessions to see if I can learn to stop standing in my own way.....................
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