Well, I knew it had to come eventually; I had to buy a rubber suit, well technically speaking a neoprene wetsuit! So I duly researched the internet and discovered that apparently fat people don't wear wetsuits. Part of me understands why, after all I wasn't exactly looking forward to it myself. It's bad enough wearing a swimsuit but a wetsuit fits like a second skin thus leaving you nowhere to hide the lumps and bumps. It does infuriate me that us fatties can't buy decent sportswear in this country! Am I really the only fat girl in the UK who wants to swim, run and cycle? I have been on numerous, misleading sites that state they have fitness clothing for all shapes and sizes only to discover that they stop at a size 20. Unfortunately I didn't stop when I hit size 20 - I kept going! I buy my running and cycling gear from the US, where apparently fat girls do exercise. Anyway, stepping off the soapbox, I found a company called Snugg in Cornwall who hand make tailored wetsuits. I called and spoke to a great guy called Malcolm who said he could indeed clothe me in rubber (a slightly bizarre conversation to have with a stranger) and he would email me a measurement form to fill in. A total of 27(!) measurements are needed to make the wetsuit, and hubby duly did the honours. Malcolm then called me to discuss my requirements, discreetly describing my figure as Dawn Frenchesque, which I quite liked. He informed me that I would need a neoprene swimming hat also, as it would be so cold in Loch Ness, and also that I should consider taking painkillers before getting in the water to help combat the intense ice cream headache that the cold water will give me. Great, hadn't thought of that one Malcolm! As an experienced open water swimmer himself, Malcolm was able to give me some great advice and tips on cold water swimming, which was greatly appreciated. My lovely, shiney black and gold wetsuit arrived a week after I got back to the UK. Luckily my daughter Katrina, is experienced in putting on a wetsuit and was able to show me how to do it. I thought it was just a case of pulling it on but how wrong I was! Imagine trying to squeeze yourself into a bodysuit that is 5 sizes too small while standing in a sauna! Damn this thing makes me hot - and not in a good way. After much tugging and pulling Katrina was finally happy that it was on correctly and I was in danger of passing out from heat and the constriction of it was stopping me from breathing. How on earth was I going to be able to swim in the thing? How was I going to be able to go out in public wearing it? We would soon find out........
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