In my last blog I wrote about entering "Chapter 55" of my life and how I wanted to do things that challenge and stretch me during this year. I felt somewhat selfish and uncomfortable when I decided to make this year all about me - something that I think a lot of people will relate to. After all I am of a generation that was brought up to give rather than take. We are parents, spouses, siblings, friends, employees and we should put others before ourselves otherwise we feel guilty. In our Therapy Centre we are always telling clients that they need to prioritise their own physical and mental wellbeing in order to be able to continue to look after others. However sensible that may be, taking a dose of your own advice is not always easy! A couple of years ago my eldest daughter, Meghan, advised me to "go away somewhere on your own Mum. It doesn't matter where it is but it should be somewhere you have never been before. It will empower you, trust me!" It took me longer to take this advice than she would have liked (sorry Meg!) but I finally decided this summer was the right time for me to take a holiday on my own. This was a huge step for me and I was really hoping that I wouldn't come back saying "I enjoyed it even though I was on my own". What I wanted was to come home saying "I enjoyed it BECAUSE I was on my own". So, with the help of my fabulous friend Hazel, I booked a tiny cottage called The Garden Room in Mundesley, Norfolk and headed off in Little Blue (my car) with the roof down and Lydia and Bolt (my bikes) strapped to the back for my first solo holiday!! The Garden Room was perfect for me and only a 10 minute cycle to the beach. I also had perfect weather with blue skies and miles of white sandy beaches to explore. It didn't take long for me to fall in love with Norfolk. I kept a diary and spent each evening sitting in the little garden with a glass of wine, writing about my day and thinking about what I had learned. I won't bore you with a blow by blow account of each day; I'll just share what I think are the highlights............... Day 1 I explored the little village of Mundesley on Lydia first thing this morning. Normally I will drive a route that I don't know before I cycle it to make sure that I am comfortable with where I am going and what to expect en route. Today I cycled along roads I don't know, with no idea of where I was heading and guess what: NOTHING TERRIBLE HAPPENED!! What a wonderful sense of freedom to not have any anxiety and to just be able to relax and enjoy cycling. I haven't had much opportunity to cycle this year and I have really missed it! Got back from my cycle and went for a drive around the area. It's so peaceful and pretty here. Turned my SatNav off as I realised that as I didn't know where I was going, it was impossible to get lost anyway!! Found the beautiful Sheringham Park and will go back tomorrow with my bike. Sat on the beach in the afternoon writing in a notebook given to me for Christmas by Hazel and Alison - thank you ladies!! - the notebook has "Don't Be Afraid To Be Great" on the cover. Today I haven't been afraid. Feeling proud. What I learned today:
Day 3 Headed into Cromer today and parked on the outskirts then cycled in. What a beautiful place! Norfolk is so friendly and the pace is slow. Just what I need after that last few months of being constantly ill. Spent a couple of hours on the beach by the pier listening to the roar of the waves just before they break. A beautiful sound that made me smile and drew me toward the water for a quick swim. I feel as though I am healing here. Had a little mooch around the town centre and sat eating my picnic in the grounds of the beautiful Cromer Church. As I was looking around and thinking about my life I felt very emotional and had an immensely strong sense of gratitude that I have had the opportunity to experience this. The beautiful church, the lovely winding streets, the incredible views down the little alleyways that look out onto the sea. I sat in the grounds of the church and said "thank you" to the universe for giving me this day. For all of the experiences, good and bad, that have led me to be in this place, on this day; experiences that had shaped me into the woman who is able to value and recognise the beauty of this day. An epiphany? Not sure but I know I definitely want more days like this. I am feeling happy and content for the first time in as long as I can remember. I am not worried about the future or the past. I am actually living in the present!! What I learned today:
Day 5 I cycled just short of 10 miles on Bolt this morning!! I couldn't decide where to go and was in danger of overthinking things so I just got on him and started peddaling along the road opposite the cottage. Had a vague idea that if I went along for a couple of miles then turned left I would end up in the village centre. Oh it feels so good to be back on Bolt!! I wasn't breaking any speed records but I was grinning like a lunatic! I was so proud of myself when I made it into Mundesley village centre. A lady said to me that I was brave cycling in the heat and asked how far I had come. Then she asked was I going to continue along the road for the 2 miles back to the cottage or was I going to go back the way I had come? Well I never shy away from a challenge so told her I would be going back the way I came. I refuelled with a banana and set of back again. I was grinning even "louder" all the way back. Spent the afternoon on Overstrand beach and had a swim in the sea again. Stood in the sea, listened to that roar again and felt the cool water on my body; hot sun on back; wondering if my life could get any better than this. Five perfect days. Relying on myself. Does this mean that I can rely on the same Gill every day from now onwards? Will I be able to take this Gill back home with me? I think I will need to spend the next 5 days practising and embedding new Gill so that she is impossible to leave behind. I shall call her up with a chant of "Norfolk Gill, I need you!!" What I learned today
More to follow in my next update................
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