Last week I was confined to our hotel suite with a nasty case of Bangalore Bum and in between bouts of running to the bathroom I decided to start working on "the book" . I spent a ridiculous amount of time trying to work out where to start and finally settled on writing about what made me Fat Girl in the first place. Should be relatively easy as I have been fat my entire life; fat infant; fatter teenage; fattest adult. There, done! However when I started thinking more deeply about it and looked at some old pics I realised that I wasn't a fat baby or fat as a young child. I started getting fat when I was 11 - around the time my father was diagnosed with a brain tumour. After he died I got fatter. Hmm even I could see a possible link here. When I started thinking about the 6 months when my father was ill I realised that I never felt any real emotion about it - surely I would have felt at least a little frightened of the thought of my father dying? I remember my mother telling myself and my brothers that dad wasn't going to get better so I was certainly aware of the fact that his tumour was terminal. Following his death, I don't think I allowed myself to feel any emotion then either. I did, however, eat a lot. A year later I developed epilepsy, which my consultant put down to the trauma of losing my father. Having epilepsy as a teenager had a profound effect of my life and I dealt with it by - yep - eating!
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