I arrived at Loch Ness at 7.15am, having been informed the previous evening that the race was being brought forward by an hour to 9am due to the expected bad weather. When we arrived the loch was like a mirror! I told my husband that the swim was "going to be beautiful - I will have a little rest half-way round to admire the lovely scenery". At 8am I was on the phone to Cindy, my trainer, telling her I wanted to cry and that the wind was a little strong but nothing to worry about. By 8.30am I was at the water's edge staring at the waves fighting an increasing feeling of dread! Standing in the starting pen with 400+ other swimmers was an amazing experience. Everyone was chatting and exchanging swimming tales; all of us first-timers looking for reassurance from the experienced swimmers. I felt surprisingly calm at this point and was eager to get in the water. An announcement came over the tannoy advising anyone who wasn't a strong swimmer to think seriously about withdrawing as the waves were getting big! Deep breath Gill, stay focussed. As the claxon sounded to start the race I watched the elite swimmers dive in the water and made my way forward to the shores' edge. I was surprised that they didn't seem to be moving away from me as quickly as I had expected. I ran into the water, ducked down and started swimming. As I passed through the first two marker buoys I was astonished to find that I was passing people. "Woohoo look at me!" I thought, "Not so slow after all". What I didn't know was that a lot of people had got to the first two buouys and then turned around and swam back to shore! The waves were huge and powerful but I think the adrenalin just kept me moving forward. I passed the second buouy and had to fight hard not to get dragged into it by the current. Once I was clear of it I sighted the third buouy and headed off. A huge wave lifted me up and dropped me, followed seconds later by another which pushed me under the water. As I surfaced I shouted "bring it on bitch; I'm stronger than you" and changed my stroke to breaststroke so I could swim under the waves and make some headway. All around me in the water I could hear people gasping and shouting, and all the time I'm telling myself "you got this, just keep moving forward". Although the wind was making the waves big I felt secure in the knowledge that there were safety kayakers in the water and I would be rescued if necessary. As I tried to sight the third buouy I couldn't find it! I thought maybe I was swimming in the wrong direction but as I turned 360 degrees - nope no buouy. Errrmm what to do? Keep moving forward! I swam in the direction I thought the buouy had been and started to assess the situation. The pounding of the waves was definitely having an impact on my energy; I knew I would have to decide between buouy three and four whether I had enough energy left to make it around the course a second time. If I couldn't make a second lap then I would have to exit the water at buouy four; once I had passed number four I would have to either complete the second lap or be rescued. No way was I leaving the water on a rescue boat! I stopped to get my bearings again and try to determine whether I was heading in the right direction in the abscence of buouy number 3! A man swam up to me and shouted "where is the buouy?" I told him I thought it must have blown away and he replied "f**k this I'm out of here" and headed straight for the shore. As I looked around again I could see that people were being rescued all around me - I had been swimming to hard and was so focussed on getting through the waves that I hadn't noticed! A kayak approached me and I was tried shooing it away - "Im fine" I shouted over the roaring wind "but where is the buouy?" "Head straight back to shore" she shouted back; the race was halted. I didn't have much time to think before the wind changed direction yet again and I was hit by waves from the right hand side; followed by the safety kayak and then the paddles as the kayaker battled to keep control. Hmm if the safety crews were in trouble it would definitely be wise to do as I was told and exit the water. I could hear a woman in the water behind me, gasping for breath and struggling to stay afloat. I shouted to her to take some deep breaths and follow me - "you'll be okay; we're headed for shore", trying to sound pleased but already feeling disappointed that my race had been cut short. Of course, the wind was then behind us as we headed shorewards and we were carried in on the massive waves. I did experience a few "woohoo" moments on the way in but I was also thinking that I had better get in quickly as no doubt my family and friends on shore would be worried about me. Once I was through the finish gate I was given my medal and my girls and husband threw themselves at me in relief and told me how proud they were of me. "I can't believe how brave you were, I'm so proud" said Meghan. My response? I burst into tears and cried "But they wouldn't let me finish!" My initial, over-riding feeling was disappointment that the race had been halted. I cried for the first half hour then Julian told me to ring Cindy and talk to her. She promptly told me that I had completed the shortened course under dangerous conditions and that I should focus on the positive result and not get bogged down in the negative. I was a winner!!! Great advice, as ever, Cindy. I have since celebrated with my amazing family and friends and bragged endlessly to anyone who will listen!! I swam in a Monster Loch, through Monster Waves and survived!! What an incredible year this has been for me. I have lost 6.5 stones and learnt to love my body and what it can do. I am returning to India in a few days time and I am eager to meet up with Cindy and discuss the next challenge! My friends and family have raised an incredible £942 for Blurt Foundation - for which I thank you all so much for your generosity. I have had so much support and encouragement from you all and I feel truly loved by each of you. THANK YOU! Many of you have asked me to keep writing the blog and as long as you enjoy reading it I shall continue writing. I shall blog again soon so watch this space for details of the next challenge......
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